Maggie, Phil and I are in Houston. We drove over yesterday in time for a 7:10 pm CT scan. We closed the Mays Clinic down – last patient to leave. Today we were able to relax for the morning and only had a 3:00 pm consult in the GI Center with Maggie’s oncologist. We heard the results of the CT scan – only slight changes in tumor sizes from previous scans. Nothing new of note. Maggie also signed the consent form for the clinical trial. I know she’ll be 19 Sunday, but I cannot get used to the legal status thing. I felt a little more “necessary” at UAB – the age for consent in Alabama is 19. We have a day off tomorrow and plan to see the Aquarium. Thursday will be a day full of screening tests – lab work, heart monitoring, and vision exam/consult to serve as baselines for the study. Only after completion of the screening and approval (we’re anticipating) will the biopsy be scheduled. We were hoping this would take place this week but now know that is unlikely. It will probably be next week. We plan to drive home Friday and get ready to celebrate a birthday.
We are surrounded by vivid reminders of cancer’s reach and destruction while encouraged by the fellowship of suffering springing up in hallways, shuttle vans, and waiting rooms. Yesterday we were waiting in front of our hotel for the shuttle to pick up riders for the clinic. It was social hour inside the Residence Inn – snacks and drinks available for guests. Two women walked out to catch the van – balancing plates and wine. They both seemed a bit relaxed. We overheard the driver tell them he would drop them off at the Kroger next door. That pious little church lady inside me thought don’t they know van rides are for medical purposes? I glanced at Maggie barely able to suppress rolling my eyes in annoyance. Then the younger of the two spoke to us. Before we made it from one parking lot to the next, we knew she had recently been diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time after beating it last year. She has three children at home – the youngest is five. She’s from Trussville, AL. Her name is Alecia. And she’s scared. We shared the facts of Maggie’s situation, too. She laughed at the incongruity of reassuring Maggie that God held them both in His hand – while she was tipsy with wine. That’s when she acknowledged she wanted a bit of numbing. She looked like she might cry when she said, “And my hair has just grown back.” But she quickly shrugged it off, smiled, and said, “Hair is way overrated.” Please pray for Alecia as she enters the battle again. And pray for me that I would stop my judgmental tendency of placing people in neat, pre-labeled boxes to save myself the trouble of relating to them. She left the van at Kroger telling Maggie, “I love you.” With inner church lady no where in sight, I was able to tell her the same. And mean it. How many times do I not get a chance to revise my judgment? Those times I don’t hear the details that pause my critical spirit before the door is totally slammed shut. The door of ministry. Understanding. Love. It hurts to begin to count the missed opportunities. If I learn one lesson from our time at MDA, may it be that one. Love first. Listen second. Speak last. And never roll my eyes.
Thank you for prayers as we finish this screening period and get started. We have details to work out. The first 28 day cycle of the clinical trial will require us to be at MDA for some purpose every week. We’re starting to get a sense of the schedule and what will be required, so we have decisions to make. We know our Lord is before us – in space and time – we need only follow. Good night. We love you.
Sending prayers love and hugs as usual. ?
Praying for Maggie she is so blessed by super parents and sister and all of u family. Youll are loved
Melissa, Your writings in Leaf by Leaf are such a. blessing to me. Thank you for reminding me that people we encounter each day are placed in front of me by our omnipotent God.
As always, beautifully communicated. Keep us posted so we know how to pray.
So thankful to read your honest post and find that I’m not the only one who sometimes rushes to judgement, Melissa! Thankful, too, for the times God gives us the opportunity to reverse our decisions and love instead! You do that so well, Melissa!
Praying for fun today and an easy day of screening, testing, etc for Maggie! Asking God for wisdom in making plans and that He does make a way for you to spend as much time at home as possible!
Oh, how wonderful that we serve a God of love and forgiveness and deliverance. Asking Him to strengthen and comfort each of you where you need it most!
Love and prayers for you, Maggie❤️
I love your honesty. I am guilty of this all the time . I so often make up scenarios that are
Harsh for no reason. Thanks you Lord for conviction and forgiveness. Love yall
Continued prayers.. Love y’all
Prayers
Love and prayers
Much love ❤️ and many many prayers ??
Praying. Amen
Thank you for this beautiful post..I needed to be reminded that God loves all of us and we should do the same thing..praying for Maggie and all of you..
So true for me too, quick to judge or roll my eyes. Praying for your week to be easy and fun.?
A message we can all learn from!!! Thanks for your transparency!!! God is using you to minister to all of us!!! Love and prayers from The Mills Fam?❤️!!!
Great and so true for me too Melissa! I am way too quick to judge. It is such a small world. Debbie’s mom is over there right now for her 4th chemo treat. She is on the 15th floor and Debbie’s sister, niece, and our daughter is over there with her. Jessica has to come back today to work tonight at Blair E. Batson. I think the rest will be leaving tomorrow if everything goes well. As I have said before the way Maggie and your family have walked this faith journey has been a blessing and inspiration to so many. But what I love about your writings is your honesty and transparency. Love and miss your precious family and even though we now have some distance between us it does not change my love and prayers for all of you!!!
Melissa, prayers for you, the Hanberry family, the medical team at MDA and, most of all, out patient.
Just a parenthetical note about your astute observation about labeling folks. That “packaging” comes in many forms and can be quite painful. Those words were profound and even more so as you learned them in your place of very real, personal pain and struggle. Another reason why I love the Hanberry family. Praying in Pontotoc!
Prayers & love to all of you…??????
Melissa, I shared this post with a dear friend who lives in Houston, Melinda Montegue Wakeland. We grew up together in Hattiesburg. Her husband, David, grew up in Hattiesburg, and pastors a church there. I though it may be nice to have a hospitable contact in Houston. Melinda is on Facebook, so you all may be able to connect that way. She could give you some good leads on temporary housing and such?
What a lesson in there for me! Still crying at the multiple times, too many to count, that I’ve gotten it out of order and spoken first! So sad for what their “story” may have been before I quickly labeled! Thank you for this reminder!!!
I continue to follow Maggie’s journey and pray for her (and you). Thank you for sharing this story – something all of us would do well to remember! Praying that this new trial is exactly what is needed!
Prayers & love for all of you; keep the faith!
Melissa – I can’t believe you have a critical bone in your body, unlike me ? Thanks for your honesty. I needed this! Praying praying praying!
Praying God’s grace over all of you.
Our prayers continue. Lifting Alecia and her family up in prayer also.
Also thank you for this, what an eye opener. Love first. Listen second. Speak last. And never roll my eyes. So well said.
WISHING MAGGIE AN EARLY HAPPY BIRTHDAY
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19 BALLOONS, JUST FOR YOU MAGGIE
And all God’s people said, “Been there, done that.” Thanks for sharing that beautiful lesson! We love you! Hugs and continual prayers. ❤️??