A quote hanging on Maggie’s board
A Satisfied Life Loved Well
This past Monday night (Aug. 6) I awoke at 12:30 and found myself unable to return to sleep. I went to Maggie’s room – a place I find myself drawn to – not shying from – in order to feel closer to her. I looked around at the remains of her earthly life – her “favorite things”. My eyes led my heart to the pin board behind her desk where I found the quote pictured to the left. How satisfying to turn from our limitations to a God who has none. I’m not sure I had noticed it before on any of countless trips to her room through the past few years. What a perfect summation of a satisfied life lived well through the challenges she faced. We never talked about death. Not once. It must have been on her mind at some point. Many points, I imagine. She chose to keep those thoughts to herself.
A Satisfied Life Lived Well
Maggie didn’t particularly handle negative news well. Like her response to thunder announcing an impending storm, she chose to duck under covers or find a distraction to avoid the menace of mortality hanging over her days. She was the most avid reader of her updates, so my words were carefully chosen to convey the truth without disturbing the hope she was holding. She heard the reports when delivered by her compassionate but honest doctors. She simply didn’t dwell too long in the valley of that reality. What a gift! She understood better than I prognosis (literally “foreknowledge”) was better left in the Hands of a limitless God. After all, who knows the outcome except our Omniscient Lord?
But Phil and I knew, at times, where things stood or, as it turned out, thought we knew. She defied the odds of survival charts and even survived a close brush with death. Chemo started working again twice to extend her life after we started making those hope-crushing lists called “final arrangements”. So we filed the lists under “oh ye of little faith”, loaded the car again and again, and kept fighting.
We were still planning a trip to Houston – to MD Anderson – for the first week in August as of July 23rd when we made the decision to delay the 4th round of chemo. Her body was tired. Her counts were not bouncing back. Her energy was ebbing. Maybe a few more days would see the next rally. Even when we canceled the Houston trip, we planned to check in at the Batson clinic to see if some medication, some supplement, anything, might help her keep going.
We never made it to the clinic on that Monday (July 30th). We saw her losing ground fast and knew it was time for hospice. Her primary care physician made the call and hospice angels descended into our storm of uncertainty and brought order within two hours. We started our round-the-clock vigil at her bedside with prayers for mercy and a short duration. She was restless – breathing became a moment by moment struggle even with oxygen. Her pain seemed mostly controlled. She held onto consciousness – in varying degrees – until Monday – when she quit responding.
A Satisfied Life Left Well
With Tuesday morning came the signposts of approaching death. It was sacred and heart-rending at the same time, part heaven, part earth at once. I stroked her hair and held her hand – half wanting to check the progress of receding life, half afraid to feel her life slipping from my touch. While my eyes beheld the end, my spirit sensed the new beginning. I had openly voiced my desire for a “parting of the curtain” moment – last words indicating her awareness of transition or a sensational glimpse of the eternal. You’ve heard the stories. What I received was an overwhelming peace from a faithful God who had prepared my heart to let go and the absolute assurance that as she took her last breath, she took her first step into His arms. I know beyond doubt if I had begged Him to leave her with me, in my effort to cling to an earthly tent, I would have missed the glory of a heavenly tabernacle opening to receive her into her satisfaction and His limitless love.
For more on Maggie’s faith read I Hope
For further reading on a life that satisfies God, check out Four Keys to Satisfying Your Starving Soul
How beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing Maggie’s last days and moments. She left all of you many beautiful memories that will never die. She was a fighter but she knew when it was time to go. You all continue in my thoughts and prayers.
I just felt an ahhhh moment from your post. A sense of satisfaction. I loved, “ I know beyond doubt if I had begged Him to leave her with me, in my effort to cling to an earthly tent, I would have missed the glory of a heavenly tabernacle opening to receive her into her satisfaction and His limitless love.”. How very true. Many times I’ve missed the Heavenly trying desperately to hold on to the temporal.
As always, you’ve given inspiration to me. God bless you all as you continue to see God’s loving fingerprints on your lives. ????????????????????
You continue to inspire us! thank you for sharing this journey with us.
“How satisfying to turn from our limitations to a God to a God who has none.” Thank you, Maggie, for showing us how to finish well. ????
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. II Timothy 4:7
You are beautiful. I’m proud of your strength. Please write a book. I and many total strangers LOVE you, Phil, Molly and Maggie the angel.????????????????????
What a beautiful ending for a beautiful person. Prayers for youbbb
Well done, good and faithful servant. I’ll live life differently because of Maggie’s example & faithful witness of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I cling to the hope that we will see her again.. I’ll continue to “Keep watch “ & pray. I love y’all so much ❤️????
Oh, Melissa, what a blessing you’ve been to me by reading your blogs. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and personal feelings with us.
Oh Melissa, the beauty of our God doing only what He can do!!! How magnificent to know that you know that you are ushering your child into the presence of The One who loves her more than you. How real His promises become when we see that He is who He says He is!!! He truly does offer us peace that we can’t comprehend. Thank you Jesus!!! ❤️
I have no words to describe the way I feel as I read this beautiful post of your last days with precious Maggie. You have got to be the strongest mother I’ve ever known. Maggie and her entire family handled her situation and her death with grace and unending faith. My heart goes out to all of you as you travel life’s journey while you await being reunited with your precious daughter. We love you all.
My heart is heavy for you and yet rejoicing. I have witnessed this amazing transition with my husband and my sister. God’s grace is sufficient.
Melissa, your words are always inspiring and encouraging. I pray for rest, peace and comfort.
Like I said that day- How awesome for Maggie to go from her Mama’s arms to Her Lord’s. I love you!
What a beautiful story of love, truth and faith. I hope that one day you turn your Journey – Maggie’s Journey into a collection of reading so that so many more may be inspired by how wonderful our Lord and Savior is! Love to you all always and always in my thoughts and my prayers. Thank you for inspiring me ! I do hope that you will contInue writing, for you have so much more to say.
The Hanberry family was so strong during the many days of struggling, putting all of their faith in the hands of a precious God. He was there all of the time and will continue to walk with you during these transition days. We will all meet again.
What sweet, beautiful, inspiring trust you have displayed. There are no words to express my respect and admiration for your family and the strength of faith you have shown.
As always beautifully written. Thank you for sharing with us these precious moments with Maggie.
What a beautiful post sharing with us her final days and transition Home. You, Phil, and Molly are constantly in my thoughts and prayers… All throughout my days I pray often. My life has been forever changed through Maggie’s journey. You have literally written a book on this site by sharing with us Maggie’s story. We love y’all!!!
I have written and deleted four messages here right now… no words seem to convey what I want to say. Simply, I Love you, friend! You are never off my mind and I am taken to my knees for you, Phil and Molly .
Tears fill my eyes as I read your post about Maggie’s last hours with you all. God’s gift of life, death, entry into everlasting joy, trust, and finally His peace is so evident. Your story of faith in action, beautifully written in journal posts, touch so,many lives. A book of your journey would benefit so many who walk that same path. Someday maybe? Thank you for sharing your walk through the valley with us, your strength through faith, and your struggle to hold on to a life loved so much and by so many. May the LORD fill your heart with His presence and peace.
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing Melissa. You, Phil, Molly, and Maggie have demonstrated how to run – and to finish – well in this race of earthly life through God’s sustaining grace and strength. Continuing to pray for the Hanberrys.
You have done an amazing sharing of Maggie and her journey into Gods loving arms! Tears are flowing, but thanks for sharing.
Wonderful Peace! God’s Peace!
I keep thinking of the ways that you all have expressed your interactions with God through your journey. How can a God that is powerful and majestic still be so tender and merciful? It is overwhelming to think of ALL He is all the time yet allows us to experience Him just as our soul longs for at that moment. That is what I sense here – that as her earthly days were ending His majesty as King was so present (I will always remember that you wrote you walked with her as far as you were allowed in her last moments) as well as His tenderness and care as you were confident He was welcoming her. You have indeed experienced Him in ways most will never. Thank you for sharing so we all can get glimpses.
Thanks for sharing your families story. Very inspirational. Grieving joy can be very hard to keep in balance. Grief can have a very strong grip. Sometimes you have to submit to the grief to ease the grip it can have on you. Grief never seems to go away but the intensity lessens. Then joy begins to increase.
That’s how my experience has been dealing with grief.
We will be reunited with our babies and what a Glorious day it will be! Zach and Maggie are growing up at the feet of Jesus.. Love to you and your family!
Maggie’s story, the way God faithfully provided his mercies….. it impacted me forever and I will never forget it. I grieve for your loss and yet I rejoice in your words as you share the faithfulness of God through a valley most fear. What a precious gift you give to many by sharing this remarkable story called Maggie. We are blessed with joy even as we grieve for you. Thank you for sharing!
Praying for peace and comfort for you and your family during these difficult days. Thank you for opening your heart and sharing Maggie with us all.
You are such a well spoken mother. I cannot imagine what you and your family have gone through. God has blessed you with the love and knowledge of Maggie to keep all up dated. It was hard, I know, to tell everything about your precious Maggie. Knowing she is a beautiful Angel ???? is wonderful. May God continue to bless you and your family.
A true Mother’s heart! I can’t help but think about our Lord’s Mother, Mary. From first cry to the last breath loving and caring beyond what others see. Always there and when the time comes letting go which is one of the hardest things a Mother does. So connected spiritually, physically and emotionally. She pondered all these things in her heart just as you will.
I can only say—-AMEN.
Beautifully written from the hearts of faith. Thank you for sharing & giving the rest of us the courage to fully rely on God during our difficult times. Bless you!
Your words are always so honest and faith filled. Thank you so much for your insights, your encouragement, your honesty, and your courage – but most of all thank you for sharing your journey.
No words❤️????????
Melissa, your writing is beautifully raw in what I could only imagine would be unfathomably painful. Your willingness to trust our Savior without abandon is breathtaking and heart wrenching at the same time. Thank you seems so inadequate to describe the privilege it has been for you to allow “us” to experience your intimate journey with your Maggie. You have touched my heart and many others for His glory. God bless you and Phil and Molly.
Thank you for sharing. Your writing is beautiful. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
What a blessing. Thank you for sharing this.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. You are with me. Your rod and Your Staff , They comfort me.