Maggie was not admitted today for chemo despite our early morning trip to Batson under the assumption her counts would be good. I’ll save you some time and just say – our hopes rose much higher than her neutrophil count this week. Our friends at the CCC were kind and patient in drawing blood for one more shot at it this morning (at mom’s request), but no amount of counting or re-counting could find enough of those elusive demons to make it safe for her to have an infusion, which would start the whole suppression wheels going again and leave her with severe nutropenia (highly susceptible to infection). Maggie was disappointed but is handling it well.
In addition to the delay in chemo, Maggie and I had to bid goodbye to two special friends today. Kristi, formerly a nurse on 3C, became quite special as she took care of Maggie through the dark days of last summer after we returned to Batson from the UAB clinical trial. Much of our time was spent on 3C dealing with infections, complications, and urgently needed chemo infusions. Kristi’s skill, humor and support (along with others, of course) helped Maggie pull through. Kristi and her mom, BJ, are relocating to Dallas to form a large family support group for several facing serious illnesses. We hugged them goodbye while planning for our first reunion. (Remember them in your prayers, too)!
With a sleeping Maggie in the backseat, I drove south thinking of disappointments. We’ve seen our share with a few new ones to add to the list. Sad goodbyes. Plans delayed by a body that won’t recover quickly enough to suit. I looked up to catch this charming bit of pop psychology on a billboard in Richland. If you don’t like the life you have, paint a new one. Hmmmm. Somehow I don’t think that fluffy, hope-filled nugget will hold up well against life’s sharp edges and pointed biblical truth. A believer’s life is not about re-decorating. It’s a radical remaking. The tool is closer to a jackhammer than a paintbrush. God places us exactly where He wants us to effect His greatest work. Painting may window-dress the mess for a while, but, eventually, real, raw, ravaged life will show through. That is, until He finishes.
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6
Once again, I realize I’m trapped in my own tendency to try to cram God into my puny details forgetting to roam free in the expanse of His plan for me.
Our delay will not affect Maggie’s treatment. Such delays are not unusual and will not give ground back to cancer. Our prayers for chemo THIS week were more to do with wanting to see Maggie have strong days next week. So, she’ll do what she always does. She’ll make the best of it. And she’ll be stronger for learning to find her strength in the Lord. The delay also means I’ll be able to grieve with a dear friend this weekend as she buries her daddy. And, most importantly, delays, goodbyes, disappointments chip away at our love for this world and fix a bit more of our affection in this next one to come. Maranatha.
I’ll post Monday from Batson, Home, Wherever we find ourselves! Have a nice weekend.
So sorry the plans you had didn’t materialize. Remember Romans 8:28
Praying that God will continue His good and perfect work in you.
Thanks for sharing, even when there is not the greatest of news. Will always keep praying.
Sometimes our plans are small compared with the Big plans God has for us-something I have to remember daily. God always has a plan. Praying.
Sorry Maggie was not able to have her treatment this week. God knows this and He knows why!! Maggie’s trust and faith is a blessing to me.
Your posts are always so inspirational and your perspective is amazing. I will keep praying for Maggie everyday.
We do love you all. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
✝️????????????????????
Your words are God’s words to all of us!!! WOW!
Oh the truth spoken in this update!!! Indeed God places us exactly where He wants us!!! Continue prayers!!!! ❤️
Still praying for all of you.It takes a lot of patience to follow Gods will and not your own. Rest, relax and try again.
I continue to pray asking for God’s mercies which are promised to be new every morning!
Love you, Lis. ????????????
Praying for you all. Specifically praying for those counts to come up quickly.
Reminds me of one of my favorite songs “The Refiners Fire”! Steve Green
There burns a fire with sacred heat
White hot with holy flame
And all who dare pass through its blaze
Will not emerge the same
Some as bronze, and some as silver
Some as gold, then with great skill
All are hammered by their sufferings
On the anvil of His will
Chorus:
The Refiner’s fire
Has now become my souls desire
Purged and cleansed and purified
That the Lord be glorified
He is consuming my soul
Refining me, making me whole
No matter what I may lose
I choose the Refiner’s fire
I’m learning now to trust His touch
To crave the fire’s embrace
For though my past with sin was etched
His mercies did erase
Each time His purging cleanses deeper
I’m not sure that I’ll survive
Yet the strength in growing weaker
Keeps my hungry soul alive
I love y’all!