The annoying fever edition:
So, despite coverage for three full days of IV antibiotics (four if you count ER meds), Maggie spiked the 6 o’clock fever again last night. Vancomycin has been added to the IV pole and we’re going to delay starting chemo until Sunday morning. Dr Collier (how perfect that he started 3C floor duty for this admission – thank you, Lord) feels like we may be seeing something other than the UTI which has had enough time to respond to antibiotics and get better. His theory is the fever may be coming from the pleural effusion and is not infection but irritation. If that is the case, chemo will not cause problems. If the fever is infection related (an unknown source) and we add chemo which tends to suppress the immune system, we might see a worsening of her condition. All that being said, chemo should be back on the schedule for the morning – that is our prayer. Maggie genuinely feels fine – relatively speaking. Her pain is now being controlled again via a pain med patch (an increased dose). She still has access to the PCA morphine but only seems to use it when her fever spikes.
Appetite is better. I got ready to drive this morning to the Cups location up the street (the one in Methodist Rehab is closed on the weekends and, I’m sorry, I’m a coffee snob) and Maggie asked for a double chocolate muffin – Otis Spunkmeyer brand to be painfully specific (appears she’s a muffin snob). I’m happy to add another “thanks for the small blessings” and report McDade’s grocery in Fondren stocks her muffin of choice in a three-pack.
I’ve heard the question often from some of you: How do y’all keep going for three years of this? and I’ve thought about it in depth. First, it hasn’t been three years of “this” exactly at any time. Our lives are complex, multi-faceted, and ever-changing. We have moments of excruciating heartbreak and moments of joy so piercing it hurts, almost. Most moments are real life moments with predictable and lesser emotions attached. They happen to happen in a clinic, hospital, or traveling to a clinic or hospital. We live the moments, not the destination. Not what hangs in the future. Because, try as I might, and, despite my hubris in thinking I can, I can’t predict one moment from now what will happen. A recent illustration: I have a tooth marked by my dentist as officially on “crown watch”. It’s on the upper right side. I also have a tooth on the lower right that reminds me of its presence (teeth are much better when they shut up and do their job) and is possibly related to TMJ (stress?) So, I’ve been chewing predominantly on my left side to give those two characters a break. Yesterday, I chipped a tooth on, you guessed it, the left side. We create more trouble when we allow our own forecast to cloud reality. Just chew.
Second, we laugh a lot. And we laugh at things that would make others stare at us and think we’ve lost our minds. But once you laugh at something (biliary drains, medications, needles, colostomies, surgeries, and, yes, even cancer), it loses some of its fear factor. Just laugh.
Third, and most importantly, is our faith. We question the fairness of childhood illnesses, the purpose of suffering, and, honestly, the nature of our God in allowing illness and suffering. And this is what we find Him saying to us: it is in His redeeming the worst situations for His own glory and our own good that we experience the best of all He is. Paradox to end them all. We experience just enough of the effects of the Fall to fix our hope beyond this world to the next and the eternal beauty waiting beyond the momentary ugly. We find comfort as the attractions and charms (love that quaint word) of this world slip away. The promise of no more pain, tears, and chipped teeth brings more peace the more we experience those trials. Just hope.
Whatever you face – keep your eyes on the moment, your humor within reach, and your faith in our only hope, the Author of Life.
Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2
Inspired❤️ by your words and at the same time humbled.?? love you all and continued prayers❤️??.
GAY, THANKS FOR YOUR ABILITY TO PUT IN PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL WORDS THAT BRINGS SOLACE TO OUR HEARTS. PRAYERS FOR ALL INVOLVED ESPECIALLY MAGGIE, WHAT A FIGHTER SHE IS. GOD BLESS.
Chew. Laugh. Hope.!
Thank you for your encouraging words. We love you all and are continuing to pray.
God has blessed y’all with such good attitudes & abundant faith thru this journey. Continuing to pray that the fever & pain problems will be resolved soon. Hugs, prayers & God’s grace to you all! ????
So thankful y’all can find humor through it all and know that God will handle whatever comes your way. Prayers for all of your health and well being.
Continued prayers~~~thank you for the updates and your continued faith is so encouraging!
Simply amazing. True faith conquers all things.
Such an uplifting post in times of uncertainty. Prayers and hugs for you all. Laughter is the best medicine.
Hebrews 12:1-2. One of my all time favorite scripture passages. Living in the moment is something we all should do, usually don’t, but someday will as life eventually takes us to the end of ourselves. That is precisely where our faith in God picks us up. The faith of the Hanberry family is evident and inspiring. My prayer is, of course, for healing but also that you will all keep the faith, stay the course and run that race effectively. II Corinthians 12:9. I love you guys!
Wonderful post, Melissa! We love y’all!
“Just chew” may be the next great saying :)! I love the wisdom of that and in ‘laugh and hope’. Prayers for that fever to behave! I’m happy Dr. Collier is on! God’s joy and peaceful rest (despite hospital accommodations) I pray is poured on you all!
I wish I could say something to comfort you but you just said it all. I am praying daily for all of you.
So very inspiring, your words are very encouraging to us all! Continued prayers for Maggie❤️??
Before I read the comments I thought, instead of eat pray love….. it is most definitely chew, laugh hope. What a word. What a testimony. What an impact for his kingdom. I know your words ministered to me today. Praying…. That saying needs to be on a T shirt that goes towards Team Maggie.
Thank you for such inspirational and encouraging words. Continuing to pray. Hugs!!
“Keep your eyes on the moment, your humor within reach, and your faith in our only hope, the Author of Life” – this is now my favorite quote. Y’all are truly an inspiration.
So true, such an inspiration.❤️
So beautifully written and an inspiration to us all no matter what trials we are facing. Praying the fever flees and chemo commences with no complications.
Keep on chewing and keep your sense of humor. God is with you and will keep you moving forward.
Always appreciate the updates and your inspirational words!!! The LORD is certainly using Maggie and family!!! We will keep praying!!!!!
Y’all are such an inspiration. God is using all of you in such an amazing way. Praying Maggie gets to have her treatment tomorrow and no fever tonight.
So beautifully put. Praying for the Hanberrys.
Melissa, how beautiful! How you beautifully express the answers to How do y’all? It ultimately has to be #3 and the Hope it stirs in ALL of us to long for home!!!
Praying. You all are a very big inspiration to us.
Your family’s strength amazes me..praying for all..
Thank you for your words! Beautiful and inspiring, but most importantly… real! Praying for chemo to be back on schedule today.
Good morning Gay. You are an inspiration and a beacon of strength. I know a little about your struggle but mine was cured and didn’t drag on so long. I don’t guess we will understand why till we all swe Jesus. You have my constant prayers.
Headed to Rock Hill Baptist Church this morning and will offer up a prayer for yall. Stay strong and God bless ya’ll
Oh, how beautiful are the feet of those who are running the race, enduring difficulties and reminding us that faith and hope are not just words but real life experiences that keep pointing us to Christ. Praying
We continue to pray for you all.
Inspired and amazed!
Our continued prayers for all of you????