Maggie had her exam and infusion today – the third of this clinical trial. She tolerated it well and is now resting in the Residence Inn near the clinic. We’ll return home in the morning – but not too early. I don’t believe we’ll set an alarm.
The typical order of events each visit is blood draw for labs, an exam by the doctor, and then the infusion, if all looks good. Today was no different. During visits with Dr. Saleh, the chief investigator for the trial, he’ll ask questions and I’ll voice any we might have. I had a small list today since we have to coordinate with UAB on Maggie’s ureteroscopy scheduled for next Tuesday at Hattiesburg Clinic. We settled the issue (we’ll have to delay by a few days), but I sensed an unnamed source of disquiet in my own mind. Maggie and I discussed the visit later, and I was surprised to find she felt it, too. We finally found the right label: homesick.
We miss Batson – the people, the ease of conversation, the bedrock certainty of our common goals – Maggie’s treatment and comfort. UAB is tremendous and we like the people and know we’ll grow to love them. We’re a tad awkward in navigating this new phase of cancer treatment. I’m looking for someone to step forward and coordinate (where are you, Dr. Collier?), and the arrow seems to land on me. Active treatment was, believe it or not, predicable and safe. The protocols were set in stone, offering a counterintuitive cushion of comfort.
A clinical trial is a different beast. Overhanging all medical concerns and inserting itself into unrelated health issues (kidney stones, in-grown toenails), we find its schedule surprisingly easy to keep while its boundaries are unfamiliar and its implications for the individual are somewhat unknown.
There is no place like home. We completely understand we can’t go back – to predictability, old routines, or familiar Batson friends. Maggie is tethered to the trial by hope. She is right where God wants her. But still, there is no place like home.
What do you do when you can’t go back? Home comes to you. We arrived today to find a gift for Maggie – a UAB sweatshirt in aqua blue from Jeff, the videographer shooting footage of Maggie’s infusion last visit. We met Dayle, my first contact at UAB when I phoned to find a trial. She’s the one who reassured me in our second conversation in the sweetest voice you can imagine, “We’re going to find a study for your baby.” She came in and hugged Maggie, telling her, “I’ve been wanting to meet you. We’re just going to keep praying.” And tonight, Maggie used her phone to search for close-by dinner options for takeout. She couldn’t hide her delight when she found a Babalu – yes, the same Babalu – two miles from our hotel. What a perfect way to feel close to our Jackson/Fondren people! And for dessert, we’re munching on Granny Gay’s world famous date nut bars.
We live each day achingly aware of our Homesickness. We’re in a place (this world) not intended to be our home, and we know it. For we are strangers before you and sojourners, as all our fathers were. Our days on the earth are like a shadow, and there is no abiding. I Chronicles 29:15. I’m thankful tonight God brought Home to us. I’m even more thankful He will, one day soon, take us Home. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. John 14:3.
Praying for God’s peace in the midst of strangeness. Love you all. You are continually in my prayers. Thanks for the update.
God continues to speak to everyone who reads your posts. You have an amazing gift to put His mighty words into daily life as you are living it out for the world to see! It is a gift you and Maggie are willing to share and it gives hope to all. Thank you and we continue to pray for all of you .
Prayers for peace, Melissa. So happy you were able to find comfort away from home.
Praying for all the comfort you need at this moment… much love to y’all too….
Strength and beauty… both of you!!!!!
It’s funny, I’ve wondered the same thing and even thought several times… I know how they miss Batson. I know you will find a new normal at UAB for now but Batson has been so amazing to y’all in the most difficult days of your life! Of course there is a lot of emotion in all this change. Time will help but those precious doctors, nurses and staff that give soooooo much of themselves will never be forgotten. They probably miss Maggie too! Praying for a safe, fast trip home tomorrow! I love y’all! ❤️?❤️
Praying that God will continue to surround you with folks like Dayle. I know there is no place like home. Praying for peace and comfort. This too shall pass. Romans 8:28
Maggie, Ho, Ho, Ho! You are my Santa Claus!! You are the one who has allowed me to not be afraid of wishing, dreaming, and believing! I don’t always see you, but I know you are there! You allow the “elves” to run their workshop, while your smile and the “twinkle” in your eyes assures them you are proud of their progress. It makes them work even harder for they want you to know how much they care! This is the season for being Thankful! Maggie, my sweet Santa, I am thankful for YOU! I love you! Merry Christmas! May all of your dreams come true!!! Love, Mrs. Connie
We can not make the “rain” go away but we are walking through it with you. Prayers daily and love eternally
Praying for you all. I can not think of anyone who has inspired me more than you and your daughter. We serve a big big God!
I love y’all and pray every day!!! !
Thanks for update. What an inspiration to all of us. Prayers and big tight hugs your way.
Praying for this special angel! The Hanberry family inspires us all!
Uncertainty in the middle of all of this has to be tough. God will bless and honor your faith and trust. You are an inspiration to many.
Praying for you all daily! I have no doublts you and Miss Maggie will become part of that family as you share your love and faith with others!!
Still praying for you guys, daily. God Bless you and this journey. He created the universe and watches afte the sparrow. Love y’all.
Oh the joy to know that our heavenly Father is preparing a place for us!!! Thanking God for his grace and mercy to see us through!!! Love and continued prayers for all of you!!!