2015 has been some kind of year. The year started with the most amazing trip to Disney World that I could have ever planned. I mean, Disney will never be more magical than that week. I made memories that will last forever. Having such a great start to the year was a blessing because the previous year had been less than ideal. 2014 isn’t really my favorite year of my life so far. I’m sure you can guess why.
I came back from that trip ready to face a double lung tumor resection surgery, which went off without a hitch. I now get to sport a 10 inch scar on my chest, along with the 10 inch long scar on my stomach. Despite the success of removing 10 tumors from my lungs, I was still facing a new chemo regimen that would require hospital admission for three days, every two weeks. I’ve been on that chemo regimen all year year. Although I’ve had chemo every two weeks, I’ve been able to live a semi-normal life.
If you asked me if I would change anything about my year, I honestly don’t know that I would change a thing. Having cancer is a huge downer but the opportunities it has brought me are worth every infusion. I’ve been inspired by families and children I never would have known if not for Batson. I’ve been able to share my story with so many people. I may never see the effect of my story, but I know for sure that God is using me in a much greater plan.
My year hasn’t been ideal, but knowing that God has a plan and that none of this is in vain is my comfort. I’ve already seen the blessings from this trial. Looking at an overview of 2015, I could easily say it was Dzcancer-filleddz but I honestly see it as Dzjoy-filleddz. My family and friends and so many others have made this an amazing year. I’m ending this year with far less cancer than I started with, maybe none at all. I started this blog this year in hopes that I can inspire one person, and I never imagined I’d put myself out here like this.
I have so much hope and excitement about what 2016 will be. I’m so close to the end of treatment. I’ll be graduating this may. I may actually get to enjoy a cancer-free summer. I’ll be starting college in the fall. I know things could change. I’ve been writing everything in pencil. But just knowing that God is in control and guiding me ever step of the way is enough for me. That’s the hope that we as Christians can have in this world of uncertainty. We never know what tomorrow brings, but we can always know the God of the universe holds our future in His hands. Why should I fear tomorrow? I have the hope of Christ today. He loves you enough to die for your sins, and He loves you enough to carry you through year: good or bad.
I hope that you don’t lose sight of that in 2016. Remember that the God who created the heavens and earth, the God that created you, the God that saved you from eternal suffering is holding you in his hand, has an amazing plan for your life, even if you don’t see it. I can definitely say that on April 7,2014, I didn’t understand why cancer was in the plan for my life. Looking back, I see God in everything. I wouldn’t trade the relationships I’ve built and the opportunities I’ve been given just to have my health back. Yes, I know cancer is going to be a part of my life forever, even when I am healed, but I can also know that the blessings of God are going to be with me, sick or healthy. And knowing that is exactly how I want to start the New Year.
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23
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